Nine Years Later, 9/11 Widow Recounts Her Experience (2024)

Community Corner

Many remember where they were when the planes struck the World Trade Center nearly a decade ago. But few remember so vividly as former San Ramon resident Deena Burnett Bailey.

Posted Fri, Sep 10, 2010 at 10:34 pm PT|Updated Sun, Sep 12, 2010 at 2:25 am PT

Her husband, 38-year-old Tom Burnett was on a third hijacked plane. He called his wife to tell her about the hijackers and to ask her to call the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Over the next several minutes, Burnett called back three more times, the last time to let her know that the passengers were waiting for the plane to fly over some open space before overtaking the hijackers.

Burnett died with 40 passengers and crew when that plane smashed into a field in rural Pennsylvania. And through an historic tragedy, Burnett Bailey–then just Burnett–became a widow.

A lot has changed since then, nine years to the day of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

Today, the 46-year-old one-time San Ramon resident lives in Little Rock, AK. She remarried, became mother to a stepson and has since dedicated her time to sharing her story and helping others.

Burnett Bailey has appeared on countless national talk shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show. She was the one in 2002 to release the co*ckpit voice recorder from Flight 93, which gave investigators a better idea about how the hijacking unfolded.

The City of San Ramon in 2002 dedicated its largest park, Memorial Park, to Tom Burnett, placing a commemorative plaque engraved with his name at the base of a flagpole.

Now, she's made it her mission to make life more bearable for cancer patients through a nonprofit called the 20th Century Club, which offers housing to cancer patients and their families who have to travel away from home for treatment.

The History Channel will this month feature Burnett Bailey in a documentary called "The Test." Two others were selected for the filming. She said the show will bring more attention to the anniversary of 9/11 by releasing information that wasn't before available.

The mother of four recently spoke with San Ramon Patch about how her loss that day changed her life and touched the community. Here's some of what she had to say:

You became a part of San Ramon history after the 9/11 attacks. Just so the community back here knows, what's keeping you busy these days?

I stay busy with my children. The twins just entered high school and my youngest is now in junior high. My time is split between watching Halley play basketball, Madison cheer, and Anna Clare play soccer. Add Rodney's son, Tanner, who plays baseball for Ole Miss, and you'll see we spend a lot of time watching ballgames. I still do a lot of volunteer work. My latest project is managing a group of high school juniors who work with cancer patients. They are called the "Angels of Hope" and are affiliated with an organization called the 20th Century Club.

Nine years after 9/11, what are your thoughts on the country's general sentiments about the tragedy? It terrified the nation, but do you feel that enough people remember, that enough people commemorate the heroism of the people who perished in those flights and buildings?

I think people respectfully remember 9/11, but so much has happened in our country during the past nine years, that most people seem to be on survival mode with their own concerns, as they should be. I live in an area of the country where many people relocated after Katrina, others lost jobs due to the economy and some are struggling because their businesses have been impacted by the gulf oil spill. Many concerns have replaced the commemoration of an event nine years ago. My family and I were greatly impacted and we live with that every day. However, for those who did not suffer a loss, it is easy to look for a lesson learned and move on … again, as they should. Tom once said to me, "Life is for the living." I have taken that to heart many times, knowing he was right.

How do you want America to remember that day? How do you feel about the way we commemorate (or don't commemorate?) 9/11?

I hope America remembers the loss, the pain, the shock and the fear we all felt. I hope each one who remembers these emotions walks away knowing that by remembering, we learn. Most of all, I want people to remember how our nation came together, how we flew flags not just in honor of those who died, but because we were proud to be Americans. We learned that regardless of our differences, when it mattered, we could and would work together. We had our faith in humanity restored in the fact that good people were still out there, and when good and evil met face to face, good prevailed. If I could choose how we commemorate 9/11, schools and businesses would offer a day of service to better their communities and there would be a flag in every store window and every yard.

Share your thoughts/reflections on how you and your husband's legacy became a part of San Ramon's legacy for years to come. What are some lessons you learned from your loss? What are some lessons you wish others to learn from your loss?

We moved to San Ramon in 1996. Thinking our family is now a part of the city's legacy is a tribute near and dear to us.It is a city that gave us so much joy. We are honored to have been able to give something back. When the children and I left in 2002, I can assure you the community had had a greater impact on us than we had on them. Everyone was so kind, so loving, and so open to helping us. San Ramon will forever live in our hearts, as the home we shared when our family was complete. I learned that one person really can make a difference.I hope people who hear (or) read Tom's story realize the same.

You chose to turn a tragedy into a blessing for others. Explain how this honors Tom's memory and how you wish the community here to honor his life.

Turning a tragedy into a blessing was the result of my Christian upbringing. Yes, it was a decision, but in reality, nothing else seemed to be an option.I simply knew I could be bitter, or I could set an example for my children. Being able to motivate someone to be the best they can be, to have integrity, to do the right thing, to love their families and serve their communities is the best way to honor anyone's memory.Tom's story has been that motivation for thousands. I am the one who has been blessed to be able to tell Tom's story over and over and see the impact it has on people.

Anything else you want to share with your one-time home?

We are happy and well but the girls and I miss you and hope to see you soon!